Vienna 05/27/2024
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I woke up bathed in sweat. No wonder – after such a nightmare! I dreamed that my best and most generous sponsor felt remorseful and appeared in the media. What’s worse is that he mentioned me by name! What a relief that it was just a dream. Being an MEP is the best thing that could have happened to me in my life.
What else could I do? I do not have a job. Education? It’s better not to think about how I managed to get them. That’s why I decided to fight for a seat in the European Parliament. I can persuade effectively, create visions and give hope. Plus good public relations. My party does this perfectly for me.
Do you think these several thousand euros in salary plus benefits are the reason I praise this job so much? But from where? Taking into account the lifestyle of a Member of the European Parliament, this amount only lasts until the end of each month. My main source of income is the contents of briefcases that lobbyists bring. He comes into my office with a briefcase, says which voice he wants and leaves with an equally full briefcase. Naturally! However, the folder contains already prepared magazines on each topic. I assure you that the amounts contained in the files significantly exceed the income of a MEP.
Resolving conflicts is also my job. It sometimes happens that such a pocket holder wants to vote contrary to my party’s recommendations. And then what? Well, if the contents of the bag are large enough, which is usually the case, I have to devote a large part of it to “convincing” someone in my party that it would be good if we had a larger divergence on this particular vote would show.
There was an emergency situation yesterday. Two applicants visited me within three hours. Not only was it the same vote, but they wanted opposite votes. In such a situation I vote for the one who gave more, the second one will show up with bag and get a refund. After all, I am an honest MP. But the problem is that they both donated the same amount. Abstaining from voting is the worst option in such a situation – I would have to refund both amounts. The vote is scheduled to take place today, so there is no time left to adjust the amount.
That’s probably why I had that nightmare last night. Today I had the idea of flipping a coin. There is always a solution.
I have a suggestion for my compatriots. Regardless of whether you vote for me next Sunday, I am still safe as second on my party’s list. Everyone has the chance to influence the fate of Europe. All you have to do is contribute to a specific vote. You don’t have to collect several million euros like these briefcase holders. I am a patriot and will gladly serve my countrymen, even if it means giving up the contents of my pockets. But I need to know what matters to you. How do you reach me? After all, everyone knows who a good MEP is.
Author of the article: Marek Wojcik
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